I discovered a new voice in the choir of inner critics that serenade me on a regular basis. In Taming the Gremlin – A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way, Rick Carson suggests we name those unhelpful voices of judgment– a.k.a. gremlins – when we become aware of them. Give them a personality, a nickname. Makes them more manageable is the theory.
This one is called ST – the Sullen Teenager. The script sounds something like this:
Me: I’m going for a hike
ST: I don’t want to
Me: It will be great
ST: I don’t want to
Me: It will be good for me – get the blood pumping, brain firing, body moving
ST: I don’t want to
Me: I’ve got a blog to write and I need some ideas
ST: I don’t want to
ST is tenacious and unwavering in her position that whatever I want to do that supports my work or well-being is a really lame idea. ST’s sole purpose is to sabotage my creative spirit.
Living with my own flesh and blood version of the sullen teenager, I know this conversation well. As soon as I recognized the familiarity of the dialogue, I knew what to do. Do not plead, bribe or negotiate. Simply declare what you’re doing and go do it. More often than not, the whining stops after a few minutes.
There will, of course, be the last ditch effort to abort the mission. “Turn here and take the short trail. You can be back home in 10 minutes.” I know I’ve got it on the ropes when it feigns concern for me. “You’ve been working so hard and you’re tired, you should skip today.” Do not attempt to convince the ST – save your breath.
Here’s what I know to be true: If even a whiff of negotiation is going on in my head, I’m engaged in a sabotage conversation. When I simply notice it, don’t engage with it, get in the car and go, I’m always glad I did and the ST usually shuts up after a few minutes. This is equally true when I sit down to write and am overcome with the sudden urge to check email or pay a few bills.
Don’t give it a choice, don’t make any deals. Simply notice and do what you have to do.
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PRACTICE
Taming Your Gremlin is a terrific resource. According to Rick Carson, simply noticing is the primary skill when it comes to taming the gremlin. If you want to explore further, get the book. In the meantime, when you find yourself locked in one of those endless loops with your dodgy gremlin, simply notice. You can’t do anything about it until you know it’s there.